Narcissism & Narcissistic Abuse
The Disturbing Link Between Narcissism and Sadism
In order for me to prove my accusations that Kathy entered prostitution that is being protected by public and police corruption n Tahoe/Truckee, it is critical that I first prove Kathy has the personality to be a prostitute and the capability to destroy me and our children in order to neutralize me as a threat and defraud our children out of child support.

To meet those goals, this page will show that: (1) Kathy suffers from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and is therefore more than capable of all I accuse her of doing and being involved in, (2) Kathy is a pathological liar and nothing Kathy says can be believed or trusted, and (3) my children and I have been the victims of Kathy's extreme narcissistic abuse for many years and our lives have been devastated and destroyed do to it.
Narcissists know that what they do is morally wrong. Kathy understands that lying, cheating, manipulating, and attempting to gaslight other people is wrong. She also knows that lying to her friends and family members to try and recruit enablers shows her friends and family members little to no respect.

Kathy learned from an early age how to manipulate people by lying to them or presenting partial truths mixed with cleverly made up twists in order to socially embarrass her victims. Kathy has even gone to the extent of making up rumors and stories about my mental health in order to undermine my credibility in her attempt to silence me.

All Kathy has done since I had her removed from our home is think about Kathy and plot how to get revenge for me ending our marriage preventing our children and me from going through the natural process of grief after I had to have my wife and the mother of our children removed from our home due to years of being traumatized by Kathy's abuse. A narcissist's worse nightmare is being rejected and abandoned. Kathy directly, and through her proxy abusing boyfriend Karl Jesse, continues to demand attention causing even more trauma to me and our children who Kathy coldly, heartlessly and callously abandoned so she could be a prostitute.
Narcissism Signs, Symptoms and Types
The truth of the matter is, since meeting her boyfriend Karl Jesse and re-entering prostitution, all that changed is Kathy "went pro". Kathy has always been promiscuous and has always been an abusive narcissist which explains why it was so easy for her to abandon our children at the blink of an eye and set out to destroy me in order to protect her and the prostitution she got into.

After coming into association with criminals like Karl, the Truckee police and Commissioner Durant, Kathy has become the type of person you hear about on the news and see in TV crime documentaries. They exist. Read through this website. Kathy is one of them now.

Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) meet most or all of the criteria from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) found at the bottom of this page, typically without commensurate qualities or accomplishments. Kathy doesn't miss a single one.

The two broad types of narcissists are: cerebral and somatic depending on how they obtain narcissistic supply (attention). All narcissists must have attention to regulate their sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Simply put, cerebral narcissists use their minds and somatic narcissists their bodies to get attention. Based upon Kathy’s promiscuity and sexual deviancy, Kathy is very clearly a somatic narcissist who gets attention through her appearance and sex, which is the ultimate source of supply, making prostitution an ideal vocation for Kathy.  ("Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide: Cerebral vs. Somatic Narcissist" http://samvak.tripod.com/journal21.html)

There are many classifications or subtypes of narcissists in the literature depending on the degree to which a person suffers from the disorder(s) and the narcissist’s personal make up and history. Kathy exhibits signs of more than one personality disorder. With the added traits of being sadistic, paranoid and aggressive, Kathy is what is termed a "malignant narcissist" which is a person with NPD who also exhibits signs of an Antisocial Personality Disorder. ("The difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Pathological/Malignant Narcissism" http://narcabuse.blogspot.com)

Another important aspect of Kathy's narcissism is her vulnerability and her inability to handle any criticism. This has resulted in Kathy learning to very successfully abuse her victims behind the scenes (i.e. "covert narcissistic abuse" which is key to the success of what is being done to me now) in order to avoid being seen in a negative light or exposed at all.
Lack of Empathy - Hallmark Trait
​The one tell-tale diagnostic trait of narcissistic personality disorder is a lack of empathy and an unwillingness or inability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

​"Narcissists do not consider the pain they inflict on others; nor do they give any credence to others' perceptions," says Dr. Les Carter. "They simply do not care about thoughts and feelings that conflict with their own. Do not expect them to listen, validate, understand, or support you.” (www.bpdcentral.com/narcissistic-disorder/hallmarks-of-npd/). This statement describes Kathy perfectly.

Their lack of empathy is what make narcissists so dangerous. If you refuse to worship a narcissist or let them control you, or especially if you abandon or expose a narcissist (I have done all four to Kathy) a narcissist will turn on you in an instant and then set out to destroy you at all costs and by all means. It does not matter who's in their way or who's affected (e.g. Kathy's children), and with a narcissist’s lack of empathy, they will destroy you very effectively without blinking an eye.

EXAMPLES

Kathy's complete lack of empathy is self-evident by simply pointing out that a mother could not do what Kathy has done to our children if she possessed empathy.  Not possible.

After I had Kathy removed from our home in Sept. 2014 she did not once even attempt to visit our children. Kathy never called, sent cards or recognized holidays, milestones or birthdays. Kathy gave her strategic excuse of not having transportation so I was ordered to provide it. Kathy still didn’t attempt a single visitation.

Kathy then stripped me of my ability to support our children (I had four computers hacked soon after I kicked Kathy out causing me to lose my job and for the second time destroyed reputation preventing me from getting future employment). Kathy and Karl have endlessly and sadistically subjected me to sexual, psychological and emotional abuse that continues to this day.

There is clearly something very disturbing going on with Kathy.
Smear Campaign - Hallmark Tactic
​A narcissistic smear campaign is designed to: (1) Discredit and isolate a victim, (2) enabler the abuser to play the victim, (3) instill fear in the victim, (4) label the victim as inferior or "sick", and (hurt the victim out of spite. ("Sanctuary for the Abused - Smear Campaigns" Parts I - V. http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2011/10/smear-campaigns-part-i-in-series.html). Kathy’s latest smear campaign has all four and more facets. I devoted an entire section of this website to it. For a full discussion of Kathy’s smear campaign with examples and participants see the “Smear Campaign” link below.
Covert Narcissistic Abuse
Smear Campaign
​One of Kathy's favorite and most effect abuse tactics is to turn the tables and portray me as the abuser and Kathy as the victim, a "victimized narcissist". Playing the victim and making me the abuser has been a very important tool in Kathy's smear campaigns.

Kathy is an expert at this type of "covert narcissistic abuse" which is key to what is being done to me now and very difficult to counter. What Kathy does is lie about herself and me telling listeners one sad victimized story after another with me being the abuser so she can find enablers to manipulate into believing Kathy is sweet and innocent and even the victim.

Kathy, Karl and other occupants of Kathy's narcissistic bubble who Kathy’s recruited to join her team of enablers and proxy abusers still attempt to turn the tables and label me the abuser, now much to no avail but that hasn't stopped them from still trying.

Convert narcissistic abuse is also It is designed to be very frustrating and angering so Kathy's assertions of me being the “crazy” one and the abuser are believed. I have been a victim of Kathy’s covert narcissistic abuse continuously throughout our relationship and it has worked beautifully for her.
Paranoia and Distrust
​Kathy is also paranoid a cannot be trusted as are all narcissists. An obvious example of these traits in Kathy is her using protection of distrust onto me of checking out and desiring other women, which I never even felt the desire to,  when Kathy was serially unfaithful and I never once was.

Another example of Kathy projecting her not being trustworthy was Kathy’s need for "collateral" from friends. Kathy told me that collateral was incriminating information about a person that Kathy felt she needed as insurance against a paranoid an unfounded belief that she was going to be betrayed which was due solely to projecting her own attributes onto others. 

Yet another example is Kathy having to befriend almost all of my female Facebook friends due to Kathy having such deep-rooted feelings of worthlessness and insecurity she was jealous of every woman I had any sort of contact with. I am convinced that a significant reason why Kathy has set out to destroy me is due to her jealously ("If I can't have Nick nobody can") and the thought of another woman actually caring about our children.
Narcissistic Discard
​"The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding. This cycle can repeat numerous times, spinning a merry-go-round of emotional vertigo for those caught in such relationships." (See http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/idealize-devalue-discard-the-dizzying-cycle-of-narcissism-0325154).

Once Kathy had parasitically drained me of all I had she not only left me with the mess she created, Kathy lit it on fire before discarding our children and me and has regularly thrown gasoline on it to keep it going! Perhaps the most difficult and painful experience of being with a narcissist is when they discard you to move to more fertile grounds for narcissistic supply (attention) after you get their number and stop putting up with their abuse.

Kathy discarded me AND her own children to move on to codependent Karl after I ended our relationship as if the past 16 years of her life never existed and we never had children together. Within three weeks of me having Kathy removed from our home she was off having fun "setting up Karl's drums" at one of his gigs.

Kathy disappearing like that was the most brutally hurtful thing I have ever experienced; I cannot imagine how painful and life devastating it was for my children to be kicked to the curb as if they never existed by their own mother.

And even worse, Nevada County Family Law Commissioner Yvette Durant enabled and legally secured Kathy's discard of our children so Kathy could have carefree fun and prostitute (Durant is a sadistic antisocial psychopath who belongs in prison along with Kathy).
Why Me?
The question some may ask is why I let this happen to me? The answer is I did not know better. I was codependent which is a narcissist’s perfect prey. They are said to have a sixth sense to seek out codependent mates who have no boundaries and are therefore the flip-side of the same coin as a narcissist who respect no boundaries. A match made in hell.

I subconsciously thought I could not exist without Kathy in my life and was therefore willing to tolerate the intolerable in order to keep her. I futilely tried to "fix" Kathy to the point of sacrificing my and our children's needs all I had to no avail. No matter what I did Kathy always wanted me to do more or something else.

One of the problems with narcissists that I did not know until I started learning about narcissism is they cannot be fixed. They will never change, why should they if they believe there is nothing wrong with them and you are the problem which is what they all think because it’s too painful to deal with the truth about themselves.

This is all very well documented throughout the literature. My children and I are living proof.

DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder criteria:
  • Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from others. ​
  • Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc. [evidenced by Kathy's appearance and by Kathy (and Karl's) repeatedly stated and now superior status over me and her arrogant and condescending attitude and comments, etc.]
  • Self-perception of being unique, superior and association with high status people and institutions [e.g. the law enforcement and judicial system that is protecting Kathy and the high-status individuals involved (Daron Rahlves), etc.].
  • Needing constant admiration from others [a high level is provided by being a prostitute].
  • Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others.
  • Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain [My father and I estimated that Kathy has literally cost us upwards of $750K (me $500K; my father $250K) with the dollar amount continuing to increase daily due to Kathy's inability to keep her panties on and her legs close. I can prove this amount].
  • Unwilling to empathize with others' feelings, wishes, or needs [see above].
  • Intensely envious of others and the belief that others are equally envious of them [see above].
  • Pompous and arrogant demeanor [see Kathy’s pictures on this website for visual evidence of this].
​There are no words in the English language to adequately convey the type of person Kathy is. Kathy is not only a danger to the general public, Kathy is a danger to the people who loved her and Kathy's own flesh and blood. Kathy is a narcissist to the extreme.
HOME