of My Family
​Kathy Carrillo
"Things would be a lot easier if your mother wasn't Satan." ~ Unknown

Kathy suffers from Narcissist Personality Disorder comorbid with Antisocial Personality Disorder. This type of disorder is referred to a “malignant narcissist” or “narcissistic sociopath." All narcissists require “narcissistic supply” (i.e. attention). The Petitioner derives supply using sex (her body) which is known as a “somatic” narcissist which helps support the Petitioner being a Lake Tahoe prostitute. Narcissism devolpes as a child due to failed parenting, emotional trama and children being overly/unjustly praised.

Kathy's father, Manuel Carrillo, very obviously completely failed as a parent.  Manny's failed parenting is self-evident just based upon Kathy being a serially unfaithful wife and abandoning her children. You can ignored Kathy's prostitution and criminality to know that something is remiss about Kathy's guidance as a child.  Manny's poor parenting continues even today as evidenced by his ignoring of the truth about Kathy and instead allowing himself to be conned by Kathy into enabling her once again. No mask of Kathy's is safe or sincere, not even her sobriety mask that she is wearing once again.

First - Kathy's "biological mother" (as Kathy referred to her), Judy, was Kathy's initial push into pathological narcissism, Judy was an alcoholic and serial cheater and voluntarily handed her children over to Kathy's father, abandoning them to go off to be a prostitute and have fun, just exactly like Kathy did to her children. Kathy and Judy used the same excuse to get rid of their children "I can;t take them where I'm living" and the same path in that black men are perferred *Judy married a black man and both Kathy and her boyfriend Karl William Jesse confirmed in an email her sent with the intent to abuse and taunt me saying ""Kat likes the black man."

​Second - and perhaps most detrimental to Kathy developing NPD was Kathy's father. Rather than be sensitive to his daughter’s loss of her mother by validating Kathy's uniqueness and giving Kathy unconditional love, Manny severely emotionally and psychologically abused Kathy and brutally belt whipped Kathy for such things as soiling her underwear. Manny's lashings were so savage that Kathy's half-sister Gina would go into the closet and put her fingers in her ears so as not to hear the whips across Kathy's bare bottom and Kathy's blood-curdling pleas for her father to stop.
When children are raised with chronic loss, without the psychological or physical protection they need and certainly deserve, it is most natural for them to internalize incredible fear. Not receiving the necessary psychological or physical protection equals abandonment. And, living with repeated abandonment experiences creates toxic shame. Shame arises from the painful message implied in abandonment: ‘You are not important. You are not of value.’ This is the pain from which people need to heal." ("understanding the Pain of Abandonment" -

This is where Manny miserably failed as a parent by immediately seeking a replacement for Judy in order to relieve his burden of being a single father (like I have had to take on) rather than be sensitive to the extreme emotional pain inflicted on Kathy and her older sister Angie due to their mother's abandonment. In the end, Kathy and Angie were emotionally abandoned by their father as well.

Third - Kathy's step mother, Patti, was not someone Kathy could to turn to for a mother’s love, protection or nurturing. Patti followed Manny’s example and abused Kathy by proxy shaming Kathy for such things as maturing into a young woman and needing her first bra.
Kathy labeled herself Cinderella and the “white sheep” in her family because she was the only one out of Manny’s four daughters (two with Judy and two with Patti) who inherited Judy's looks and blonde hair and blue eyes. Kathy felt that both Manny and Patti subconsciously took their disdain for Kathy’s mother out on her. ​

There is no doubt that Kathy had the type of parenting that results in a child growing up to be a pathological narcissistic adult. Kathy's behavior throughout adulthood has proven that to be what occurred.

My ex-wife has entered into a world from which there is no return. By the nature of what she got herself into Kathy CANNOT escape the family of criminals that she chose over our children and me and with whom her loyalties MUST forever lie.Kathy very easily betrayed her husband and children but she will never betray those involved in operating and protecting the prostitution she became a part of. That fact precludes Kathy from ever being able to have a sincere maternal relationship with our sons. 
My ex-wife is an enabler hopper, and an extremely good one at that which is one thing that makes my ex-wife such a dangerous malignant narcissist. She has never been held accountable for the devastation she wreaks on other people's lives which serves to encourage my ex-wife giving her no reason to change. That is a huge problem for my boys and me.  My ex-wife’s family are her biggest enablers and should know better after she had a 2-year affair with her sister's husband and then moved to Truckee and did the same thing to her children again only much, much worse. And then after all she has done my ex-wife refuses to make sincere, honest and complete amends of any kind to our children or to me. She just wants to ignore everything she did, act as if nothing happens, move on and be given visitation with her children.  That is very typical narcissist behavior due to their inability and refusal to take responsibility for their actions. Ignoring what my ex-wife has done is even more critical now because if she were to take responsibility for her behavior she and a lot of other people would go to prison. That is why nobody, not even county therapists, want to talk about what I share on this website. They all are trying to avoid it.

My ex-wife’s family knows all that my ex-wife has done to our children and me and is in complete denial of it. She has even recruited her enabling family as proxy abusers of me. My ex-wife’s only full blood sister Angela Carrillo (aka “Anti-Social Auntie Angie") is as obscenely sadistically abusive as her sister, taunting and me with smiles and laughing when she accompanied my ex-wife to a court appearance. There is no humor in any of this as I told Angie and she just continued giving me her disturbing little smiles. Angie is as sick as her sister, both of whom were also abandoned by their prostitute mother like my ex-wife did to our children.

"The narcissistic woman fights to maintain her most reliable Source of Supply: her children. Through insidious indoctrination, guilt-formation, emotional sanctions and blackmail, deprivation and other psychological mechanisms, she tries to induce in her offspring dependence which cannot easily be unraveled.” ~ Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited

Parenting and family are too mundane and routine for narcissists like my ex-wife who need constant attention and excitement. Narcissists view their children as trophies, play toys to show off at their convenience and use as proof that they have a normal life. More importantly, a narcissist's children serve as life-giving sources of “narcissist supply” (i.e. attention and adulation). As our children went through and then each grew out of the toddler stage they become more independent and no longer undivided sources of attention for my ex-wife causing her to lose interest.

That is when my ex-wife wanted to put each of our boys in pre-school which we did.  She had already put a rift between us with her irresponsible behavior (e.g. getting a second DUI, not working, neglecting our children and our home and instead going out to lunch, having fun with friends, shopping and over spending, etc.) so was getting nothing but negative attention from me. Being a somatic malignant narcissist who uses sex to garner attention, my ex-wife turned to other men for attention and began her first affair which was appallingly with her sister's husband when our youngest son was, curiously enough, 3 years and 4 months old.

After my ex-wife and I reconciled she continued to do everything for our youngest son to the point of him being all but helpless and completely dependent on her to the exclusion of me even being able to have a relationship with him. An explanation for that is narcissists require dependence not only for narcissistic supply but also to guard against a narcissist’s mortified fear of abandonment (that ironically narcissists set themselves up for). Eventually our son's dependence became such a burden my ex-wife started complaining and blaming him causing them to fight. 

It’s not a coincidence that's when my ex-wife began cheating again after we moved to Truckee. By cheating she preemptively ended our son's dependence and his building emotional abandoned of her by heartlessly discarding both of our sons when they were only ages 9 and 13 to go off with her immediate new boyfriend, Karl, and prostitute. In doing so my ex-wife repeated her relationship pattern of cheating on her partner to procure a new man using sex in order to secure their dependence and fawning attention.

It is not typical for a narcissist's partner to leave their narcissist as I did. More common the narcissist senses their self-caused abandonment on the horizon and forms a new relationship before leaping to their next victim preempting their inevitable rejection. Me having been the only man to end a relationship with my ex-wife (twice, once soon after we started dating which prompted my ex-wife to get sober and the second time to end our marriage which has apparently prompted her to get sober once again) showed my ex-wife that she lost control over me and I had her number which are a narcissist's primary motivations to destroy their ex-partner. My ex-wife has once again changed to the sober "Mother/Nick Mask" this time to try and get her kids back.

My ex-wife completely ruined our sons’ childhoods and stole their futures. After causing our children to live in toxic hell their entire lives she just walked off to start a new carefree life while burdening me with the mess and problems she created. My ex-wife parasitically stripped me of all friends, family, material wealth and assets then smeared my name ruining my reputation and giving my career a coup de grâce thus even making it impossible for me to support our children.

My boys and I are the only people who know how dangerous their mother is for the simple reason that we lived in her toxic world for years and were the subjects of her mercilessly heartless narcissist abuse. My ex-wife getting sober and "changing" is all smoke and mirrors. My ex-wife’s refusal to admit to or take responsibility for what she has done and her ability and willingness to lie and manipulate with ease and confidence in order to convince others that she is the victim and recruit them to be proxy abusers of me is what makes my ex-wife incalculably dangerous. She has NO empathy, NO morals and NO conscience. I will never permit my ex-wife to have any contact with our children nor do they want any. My ex-wife is now and will forever remain a very real and very serious danger to our children and me.​